Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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