RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
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If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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