Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize