what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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