It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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