I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dear god my vagina.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize