fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
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Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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