Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed

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  (480): allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed http://tfl.nu/9co8
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  So we're fucking tonight?

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  (816): You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf. (1-816): So we're fucking tonight? http://tfl.nu/2x8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4340) Bad night (1239) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.

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  (248): Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there. http://tfl.nu/llil
  Replies (55) Good night (1219) Bad night (3378) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow

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  (860): i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow http://tfl.nu/61vx
  Replies (66) Good night (589) Bad night (5987) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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  (512): After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game. http://tfl.nu/rksq
  Replies (8) Good night (3394) Bad night (994)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

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  (609): i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems http://tfl.nu/8tgm
  Replies (31) Good night (1481) Bad night (4768)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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  (917): You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking http://tfl.nu/a0v5
  Replies (11) Good night (3474) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

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  (703): I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/n7jh
  Replies (23) Good night (5463) Bad night (1739)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom

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  (401): I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom http://tfl.nu/vj7o
  Replies (11) Good night (2595) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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  (515): Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit http://tfl.nu/4m5n
  Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (2145) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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  (703): I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket http://tfl.nu/mrk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1265) Bad night (2920) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

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  (567): For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts. http://tfl.nu/swyw
  Replies (10) Good night (1885) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.

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  (402): She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat. http://tfl.nu/cjmw
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

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  (252): You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives. http://tfl.nu/s1c1
  Replies (9) Good night (230) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.

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  (304): Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle. http://tfl.nu/n2vr
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (110) Order T-Shirt

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