I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
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I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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