All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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