whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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