i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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