I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize