dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I need to stop coming to work sober
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
there is puke in my bra ... again
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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