I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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