Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize