She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm sobbing to NWA
How drunk are you?
Completed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So apparently I’m into choking now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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