the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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