not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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