went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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