I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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