if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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