I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize