I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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