So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i believe in u and ur pee
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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