My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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