Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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