you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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