I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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