Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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