Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize