just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize