i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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