I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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