So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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