i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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