Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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