I wish I could teleport
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize