also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
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just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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