Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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