Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize