i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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