I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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