dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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