I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize