i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Couch. On fire.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize