Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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