dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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