just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize