I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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